Well – last Friday (7/22) was my 6th chemo treatment out of 8! I can’t even believe it……
I sit here, two days later and have interesting pain but what is truly shocking to me is this: with all of the hair loss on my body during my first 4 rounds – I was lucky enough to keep my eyelashes and eyebrows! Fascinating really considering I lost every other ounce of hair…..well – I was lucky while that lasted. As of today, my eyebrows are basically gone and my eyelashes are following suit. I actually thought that losing my hair would be traumatizing, yet it wasn’t so bad! This? This is worse to me. No eyelashes or eyebrows? NOW? Well, like everything else this cancer and chemo has dealt to me, it is what it is and I can’t do anything about it. I have TWO MORE LEFT! TWO. Finished by Aug 19th…..
When I went to see the dr. last Friday, they felt that because I had issues with neuropathy in my hands and feet – that it could be permanent in some cases and perhaps I should switch my treatments from every other week, to weekly. I, like anyone else so close to the end of this treatment would have reacted, said absolutely not. That would extend my treatments into September. NO THANK YOU! Now, of course, being rational in some aspects (lol) if I did, in fact, suffer from neuropathy I would then consider it, but I’d much rather just plow through this and be done with it. Quite frankly, I AM DONE with this crap already.
Of course, then the fear sets in of what is to come. Will I spend my days worried the cancer will come back? No, of course now, right? That is no way to live, is it? I think every single person that has faced this disgusting sickness is haunted by that very thought……will it come back and when? It’s scary and unfair for anyone of any age to have to fear this……but it’s there and how we chose to live is up to us! So, I chose to live each day the way I am now…..to the fullest, with love, light and a ton of positive energy surrounding me. Not to much to ask……..
Today I feel grateful, as always but my teeth hurt….my feet hurt, my joints, my fingers, even my chin. MY CHIN….you just don’t know what pain you will feel in the next minute because that is how quickly it comes up but again…TWO MORE TO GO! I can’t even stand it….
Thank you to all that read this…..just for taking the time. These rants are basically for me to look back on God willing some day to remember exactly the path I was on…..and how hard I fought, or didn’t fight on a particular day but most of all, this blog is for those of you that might have to face this horrible situation…and I hope that I can be of help…help to get through this with a positive attitude – while being armed from someone that has been through it! Sending my love…as always.
lovelightandbreastcancer 