Chemo #5 – Taxol

Well – I had a fabulous 3 weeks off from chemo before starting Taxol – and I got spoiled . It felt great to feel great again!  I had Stephanie’s wedding and all the festivities leading up to it, and let me say that I truly felt fabulous. There was a little fatigue but nothing major enough to stop me from having a great time!  I loved every minute of it and truly loved NOT having to go for chemo!

So here I am, last Friday (Jul 8) heading to Fox Chase for my 5th infusion of 8 infusions……dreading it yet excited that I am at the home stretch….and quite frankly, it’s shocking how long this infusion actually took.  My AC infusions were 90 minutes…..Taxol is 5 hours!  FIVE HOURS!  It was insane.  My husband is a saint…he stayed with me through the entire thing; so grateful for him on so many levels……

The infusion takes that long because there could be severe allergic reactions to this medication.  Apparently, it can be quite dangerous.  I was lucky but I found that I was extremely anxious and agitated while I sat there (and this was before they even started the taxol infusion).  So – the nice nurse slipped me some Ativan…..and off to sleep I went.  It made me relax enough and I felt human.  The “tightness” I experienced in my entire body after AC did not happen this time.  I just felt tired.

That night and the following day wasn’t so bad.  Sunday (two days later) though????  Severe body pains……everywhere.  My toes hurt; fingers, hips, muscles (I think) in my legs I had no idea existed, my teeth, jaw, just pain.  It’s a pain I can’t describe really…….an ache that just lingers.  BUT – I would take this aching over nausea any day.  I find it difficult to fall asleep.  I am sweating ALL DAY LONG.  My body feels like a constant furnace.  Thrown into early menopause – wondering if I will ever sleep all night again – I can’t help but be grateful for the fact that AC is done and I am now at THREE MORE CHEMO TREATMENTS TO GO!  So – the light at the end of the tunnel tells me – yes, there is pain right now (even my kneecaps hurt!!) but I am almost done with this and I am excited about it!

My mother has been here with me since mid-March.  She has gone home for ONE week back to Florida where she lives, in her beautiful home and has a ton of friends – but has chosen selflessly to stay here with me through this nightmare……and she is leaving this Sunday for a bit.  I am relieved for her…..just to have some normalcy in her life again. I am afraid of her not being here but that is only because I am now spoiled.  She makes me laugh; she sings – she helps me smile every day and I am actually really happy for her to go home and have some peace away from this!  There aren’t enough “thank yous” in the world……to express how much I appreciate everything she has done for me…again, selflessly and unconditionally.  But Mom – I love you and I thank you for every single thing you did for me every single day, especially when I needed you the most and didn’t even know it!

Now onto my father – who has been here as well and now is taking on the task of being with me through my next three chemo’s while Stefano is at work!  God help the man!  I can be a bit of a baby some days when I don’t feel well……but I still force myself to get up and go about my day regardless.  We will have fun and Stefano has a pal here to keep him occupied when I can’t!  I love you Dad!

My sister – WHO I CAN’T EVEN WAIT TO SEE!  When this mess is over – I am taking some days and flying down to see you – to hit the beach and float in the gulf……and laugh our asses off…..at all the past 8 1/2 months has thrown at us.

Enough of the mushy stuff – back to chemo….so today is day 4 and I still do have the body aches but they are manageable.   I will get through this and I will come out in the end stronger than ever!  Thank you to every single person for your support.  Your cards, messages, etc. have helped me so much (it may be nothing to you, but to me it means the world)……

Stefano – my love, my rock, my world…..I adore you and thank you for every single thing you do for me – your patience, your love, your strength when I have zero, the rides to just get me away from it all and “escape” and just for being you.  I love you……